6.5 weeks

Another week in and I'm not getting any better. In fact, if you count the fact I've started vomiting, I've actually got worse. I know that morning sickness isn't a para specific problem, but this is about my whole experience, so you get all the 'normal'stuff too. The past couple of days have been particularly horrible. I had had a couple of big days and late nights, so I don't know if that has made my morning sickness even worse.

What was that show/movie where the women said "why do they call it morning sickness, when it hits you at every god damn minute of the day?" I've been trying to think of it all week! 

Basically, if I'm having a good day, the nausea will leave me mid afternoon. I've had no appetite. I've managed most mornings to have a piece of toast, although I've gone off vegemite after having vomited it up twice. Anything I do eat is very plain and mostly just carbs, although I did make some vegetable and chicken soup a couple of days ago. I'm sick of it, but trying to get a least a small bowl of that down each day.

Dr H called me last week. She had got my results from my blood test and has given me a referral for a dating scan, since their machines are all upstairs. I need to go do that in a couple of weeks, once the pregnancy is big enough to see properly. She also spoke to me about baclofen, saying that the case studies she's been reading up on have all been exposed to huge doses, up to 200mg daily, so my taking 10-20mg a day is a very low risk. She also gave me the heads up on B6 and ginger for my morning sickness. I knew about ginger but of course had completely forgotten about it!

I read a study a few months ago, saying they had disproved baby brain, that it doesn't exist, which I found interesting at the time. Yeah, I'm calling bullshit on that! I'd lose my head at the moment if it wasn't screwed on!

I'm finding myself a bit conflicted at the moment. I know it's sensible to keep things quiet at the moment, that once the news gets out I get a whole new identity, but at the same time, I'm feeling so lonely. Tim has been really good, but he cannot possibly understand what this feels like, in the way I couldn't two months ago. I desperately want to talk about it, for others to understand what I'm going through, but it's really hard when the only two women I can talk to about it at the moment is my mum and Tims. Both of whom are busy women with a lot going on in their own lives at the moment.

We have decided to tell our siblings after the dating scan, so I guess it's only a couple of weeks before it will be out! And the rate I've been going lately, I'll only be awake for one of them anyway!