Welcome back!

Well, it has certainly been a while and what a lot I have to tell you about! 

After having a very dark period over winter last year, I decided I needed something to wake my brain up. So this year, I began a Bachelor of Arts, in gender studies and politics. We are very lucky to have both Will's sets of grandparents close by, so he spends one day a week at each house. I'm not sure who is happier about this arrangement, Will or his grandparents... Actually, it could be me! 

The first half of the year, this worked beautifully! 

You know how they say that every baby is different? Well, after a relatively easy pregnancy with Will, his little brother/sister felt the need to remind me of the reason that saying was invented. Yep, we have number two on the way! What was meant to be a nice few week off between semesters, a chance to do some fun stuff with Will and just catch my breath, was spent feeling like absolute shit. I was just hanging out for the 12-14 week mark, waiting for that feeling I had with Will. That didn't happen, not by a long shot. 

It was always my intention to start blogging again, but I've had so little left to give anything or one, that it has not been possible until now, at 29 weeks. 

I'm someone who knows I am capable of good grades, so I don't like to settle for anything less than that. This pregnancy has meant I've had to reassess my expectations of myself. I've had to lower my cooking and housekeeping standards. I haven't been able to see my girlfriends as much as I want or even need. I am someone who gets so much from my female relationships and I've really felt the lack of those catch-ups over the past 6 months. So if you're one of the few who have managed to keep seeing me over this period; thank you! You have helped me keep my head above water. 

I have the most delightful little boy here. Will is two and half now and everyday makes me laugh at some crazy thing he does. He's an outdoor adventurer who loves nothing more than to wrestle his dog to the ground and go off on adventures around the yard, something he's been doing since he was crawling and worked out how to open the screen door. But he also loves to sit reading on his puppy mat, to help his mum bake kiss biscuits, to play dress ups with his friends, running round in a tutu. This morning he baked me some 'biscuits' (curtain rings), using his socks as oven mitts to make sure he didn't burn his hands. He amazes me with the things he's observed. 

I don't know how much he understands about this baby, but when he says goodnight to Mummy and Daddy, he also pulls up my top and gives my bump a kiss, a cuddle and several raspberries! So we will see how he goes! I think he'll be ok.

So far as the pregnancy, baby is going really well. We have chosen not to find out the gender again, since it doesn't make any real difference to us. Our nursery was painted gender neutral and hasn't changed. We will be using Wills clothes again. My doctor is obviously not worried about us, since I am also seeing the midwife. I think they call it combined care. I've only had a couple of scans this time, (like most people). Baby is growing well and was measuring about 8 days ahead at our last scan. I'm feeling lots of movement now too, which is nice and reassuring. 

Baby has been doing much better than me. I've had two iron infusions now, which has helped, but a month ago, finishing off uni, I was totally wiped out. Pregnancy is exhausting, as is having a toddler, but I was sleeping ten hours and still needing to nap. I was having to rest on the way to the clothes line, which is maybe 10 metres from the house. I wasn't ok. 

I have also had constipation a LOT earlier this time round. I'm mostly on top of it now, but at about 22 weeks it was a bit of an issue. Coloxyl with Senna and Normacol have helped. I've also been horribly bloated from about 10 weeks. I'm on Zantac again twice daily and that's helped, as well as eating little and often. And I'm on Clexane (anticoagulant) injections again, since I've been swollen (like I'd been attacked by bees) since about 18 weeks. I'm guessing. I've barely written anything about anything this time round! 

The good news is that while I'm tired still, and really noticing the extra weight, I am actually starting to get to that nice bit in the middle, where I mostly feel alright. 

I am going to have to change chairs soon. I got a new chair 18 months ago and this one, while a little wider, is taller than my last chair. I went into this pregnancy carrying a few more kilos than last time, so that extra inch or so makes a big difference! I've had a bit of niggly discomfort in my left shoulder this year, so I'm really conscious of not putting too much pressure on it. Or rather, as little as possible. 

I think bub has Will's nose...

So, where to from here? I have my next check up just before Christmas, then scan and visit with Dr D in January. She told me after Will that if I had an uncomplicated pregnancy and a small baby, a natural delivery would be possible. Induction options are limited, as the drugs they use weaken the cesarean scar, but if I went into labour spontaneously, then it would all be possible. 

This baby does not seem to be complying with the order of a 'small baby' though. It is certainly good that it's healthy and growing well, but I have a feeling Dr D will be recommending scheduling a C-section. 

So while I am coming into this a lot more mentally prepared (as opposed to last time where I decided I was going to have a natural delivery, so I just didn't think about a C-section, or what that would mean/involve) I'm still a bit disappointed. I really wanted to have that experience, and I know that if I have a second cesarean, that's it. Even if/when we go back for number three, a natural delivery won't be an option after two C-sections. I know at the end of the day we just want a healthy mum and bub, but I'm not quite ready to accept that I might need to give up my natural delivery to get that. Good thing I still have a couple of months to get used to the idea! 

I'm going to stop now, before this gets too long, but I will try to keep updating over Christmas. 

Thanks for coming back. Until next time!