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The first few weeks...

There is a kind of reassuring, busy routine in hospital. There are nurses constantly flitting in and out, you know there is always someone there if you have a question, if there is something you're unsure of. Then you go home.

We came in the front door with William in the capsule and I just thought ok, now what? We had the bassinet set up in the bedroom, but I realised straight away there was no where to sit him in the lounge, where we spent most of our time. So began the routine of bringing the basinett out during the day, then carting it back to the bedroom at night. We got a co-sleeper, so I was able to get him up through the night, without having to get out of bed. I think even if I wasn't in a chair I'd be a fan of that idea!

Co-sleeper cot. The left hand side drops down and fits up hard beside the bed.

Even from the very beginning William has been a good sleeper. I had been getting up to go to the bathroom every night around12-2, then again about 5 before he was born. He would wake up every night at both those times to feed. I don't know if it was random coincidence, or if I'd accidentally discovered the secret to sleep training! I also discovered my kindle to be the ultimate breastfeeding companion, because it was quiet, it wasn't a screen per say, and unlike a book, it doesn't try to close itself all the time. We read the entire series of The Animals of Farthing Wood over those first few weeks. I kept getting in trouble from Tim because I'd read bits without him and he'd miss out.  

I was a cloth nappy baby and I'd always assumed I would use them for my kids. They are rather different to the ones our mums used now days. I had decided that I wanted to do a combination, so I had purchased about 20 MCN (modern cloth nappies) while I was pregnant and we quickly discovered that what worked best for us, is to use cloth at home and during the day, and to use disposible when William is sleeping and if we are going out. So I don't spend my entire life doing washing, but we save a fortune and reduce our waste- for such tiny creatures, babies sure have big environmental footprints!!

I find that I hear every noise William makes overnight. It wouldn't always wake me, but I'd know he's been stirring.

Just before we left the hospital I went to have a shower and get dressed. While I was in there, I noticed a sore on my but. It turned out that all that time in bed had left its mark. We were held up for a while, waiting to see a wounds specialist before we left the hospital, but they eventually let us go with some dressings. Over the next week or so, Tim got to regularly check out my but and put a clean cover over the sore. I also put a sheepskin on my bed at home to help make sure it healed up, as well as sleeping on my side, to keep the weight off it.

We had got a couple of bedside tables and Tim had put a table top onto them and they became our change table. It allows me to have any supplies I need handy and I can easily get underneath. For Tim, we have a little work stool. Our bassinet is quite big, so it will do William until he gets a bit bigger, but Tim is going to make a cot, so I can get him in and out easily.

Our change table.

It's rather odd, trying to get used to all the changes to my body. I still have a belly, but it's so little compared to before. My legs have gone from the swollen balloons to stick thin. They are so wasted! My incision is healing nicely, but I am constantly aware of it, trying to work out if I am doing too much. The physio came to give me my post surgery work out, but it turns out most of her exercises don't work, or aren't applicable to me.
I am getting after pains still too. They last for several weeks, while my uterus returns to its usual size. Mostly I notice them when I'm feeding. They feel like small contractions, just that same tightening of my stomach, leaving me wondering if I need to wee again. I still feel off balance. I don't have that big belly to support me now, but there is no core strength left underneath it either. I am so very top heavy as my milk comes in.
I'm stupidly tired, as is to be expected with a newborn. One night I am half asleep and think I'm still holding William. In reality I'm trying to breast feed a hot water bottle.

My bowel routine is starting to get somewhere near normal, but is still complicated by iron tablets to help bring my hemoglobin levels up. They are better, but still not where they need to be and I've got several weeks of postnatal bleeding to go yet. I've also been kept on Clexane for 10 days after I leave hospital, to make sure I don't get any clots.
A week after I get home, we notice swelling where the epidural was, so we take a visit to the after hours clinic. It turns out it is just some fluid build up, probably made worse by the Clexane. 

In those first couple of weeks there is a lot of time working out our new normal, trying to establish some kind of routine. He is a very cruisey baby and it is a lot easier on us than I had expected. Tim and William do a lot of tummy time together. I work out that just a standard pillow off the bed is the easiest way for me to carry him around and to feed him. He gets his first introductions to some of the animals.

Time flies.

First few days

It has been so long since I sat down (yeah ok not that long since I sat down, obviously) to write and it has been driving me mad! I started writing this post months ago, but life has continued to get in my way! I am determined to finish this one, because I have so, so many things to fill you all in on!  So, we start again, the day we had our little boy....

We had made it through the pregnancy and birth and had our baby boy. We had finally been left to get some sleep about 5am. Before mum left, she mentioned that my younger sister was about to start her shift, if we wanted to call and tell her. I'd been keeping my siblings updated throughout the past two days and was keen to tell them the news. Unfortunately for poor Becca, mum had forgotten it was her day off, but for some reason she didn't mind being woken up. She was very surprised to find out we'd had a boy though- she'd been so sure we were having a girl!

Tim and I decided before we went to sleep that we would call our siblings once we woke up, but the only visitors allowed that day would be our parents. We were running off only a few hours’ sleep after two days of labour. Poor Tim had actually slept on one of the labour beds when we got back to the ward, probably the only man to ever do so. Any woman who's ever spent any time on one of those can tell you they are not designed for sleeping on! As I woke up, I automatically went to feel my belly for bub, before I woke up and remembered he was now across the room! (To be honest I did that a few times over the first day or two)!

I was still hooked up to the epidural and drip at this stage. After the caesarean, I was put on antibiotics as a precautionary measure. I was only having normal levels of blood loss by now, but my haemoglobin was down to 72, so I needed a blood transfusion. I wasn't in any danger, but having one would really help with my recovery, my energy levels and milk production. The morning was spent feeding (I was starting to feel a bit more confident as we got a bit of practice in), cuddling, changing nappies (not me, this was all up to Tim for the first few days), napping and with the regular checks from the midwives. Late morning, we had visits from the grandparents, all very excited about their new grandson.

 

They left my epidural hooked up for the first 24 hours for pain relief and I was given antibiotic via my IV as a precaution after surgery. As a result, I would remain bed bound until the next day. In between our napping and feeding, Tim and I threw names about. At least now, we could focus on just the boy names! And so, we settled on.... drum roll please.... William Alexander! 

The hospital was very good in helping to make things as accessible for me as they could. They had borrowed a cot from the neonatal unit, with a drop-down side, so I could get William in and out myself, since the plastic buckets they usually use aren't any good for me.

Tim stayed with me for the first two nights on the ward, and he would get up to change bub, to get him up for me to feed. The second day I was finally unhooked from all my various needles, but they indwelling catheter was left for a few days, to save me getting up to go to the toilet. I guess they decided I had enough things going on already. They tell you that you will bleed after having a baby, but my god, do you bleed! No matter how they try to prepare you for it... That first shower is such hard work, but so good at the same time! My first few transfers I needed a bit of help from Tim, since I'd just spend three days in bed running a marathon!

By this stage, I'd also had a couple of days off my usual bowel routine, since I didn't think it was a smart idea to take my laxatives while I was in labour. So, once he was born, I took a dose to get things started again. I'd had some constipation throughout my pregnancy and it ended up taking a couple of weeks for things to settle down properly again. I also found that I had to change the way I tried to move things along, to make sure I didn't pull at my stiches. I found that I'd get stomach contractions if I moved in a way that 'hurt'. 

Over the first few days, I spent quite a bit of time with the lactation consultants. This wasn't because there was anything wrong, but more, since I can't feel my nipples properly, to make sure I knew what other signs to look for to make sure he was feeding properly. William was drinking slowly, but for good stretches of time. Before I left the hospital, we had a play around with feeding positions in bed and also with using a lactation pillow, to help me support him. 

At his 24 hour check he passed all his checks. Bowels worked well all over the nurses checking him out! They also did a hearing test, where they put a little cap on their head and play noises and see how their brain reacts, which he passed without any issue. 

While William was going really well, I still had very low haemoglobin levels, at around 70, so it was determined I needed either an iron infusion, or a blood transfusion. Either way, I needed a new cannula. Unimpressed is an understatement!  

After the nurse missed twice, they brought in Dr Harry, one of the anaesthetists (who looked like a marine off some American army crime drama. We got off to a bit of a rocky start. I questioned his ability to hit my veins, he missed a few times, Tim suggested he might need to try somewhere else, further bruising his ego. But you know what, we got past that and in the end, we were all having a good laugh together. But after 90 minutes and attempts on 5 different sites, including 2 in my foot with the help of the ultrasound machine, he went home for the night. 

The next day we got lucky, after he came in with local anaesthetic and the ultrasound machine again. The poor guy had had to go home for a drink the night before, after I had nearly made him cry. So, they set me up for my blood transfusion and everything was going well. Until it wasn't. My arm started aching a bit, then it started to hurt. The nurse gave me a heat pack, but that wasn't cutting it. I had awful pain in my shoulder and my wrist and the nurse wasn't coming back quick enough. So, after a week of telling Tim to stop playing with the machines, I had him turn it off. Tim was standing there rubbing my shoulder and my wrist at the same time, trying to take away some of the pain. When the doctor came in, she flushed the line and told me there was nothing wrong. I disagreed. In the end, it was already going in as slow as possible and our only options were to keep going, or turn it off. I had only got about a third of a dose so far, and they were talking about how I would potentially need two doses. Dr Harry had left with implicit instructions, "Do not let them take it out until they have triple checked they are 100% done!" So, we tried to keep going, but within minutes, my pain levels were as bad as they had been, so we stopped. They took it out.

It turned out, I'd been right, that something was wrong. A few days later, this is what my arm looked like:

 

The vein had broken down and the pain was from the blood going into the flesh in my arm, instead of my bloodstream. When Dr D, my regular doctor saw it, she was furious! 

 By about day three, my milk had come in. For those of you who haven't experienced this, your boobs get several cup sizes bigger, basically overnight. It's not particularly pleasant. Your milk also starts to 'let down', so squirt everywhere totally out of control. This is why we have breast pads. It turns out, when this is about to happen, your boobs go all numb. I didn't know this. So, I was lying in bed feeding and all of a sudden, my chest is tingling and I'm wondering if this is some crazy side effect of I don't even know what!! After it happened a few times, I made the connection, but it did have me worried for a bit! It turns out lots of things can set it off. Babies crying, warmth (so the shower), thinking about your baby.... It calms down after a few weeks, or months. Oh, and you look like you've had a boob job. They are the definition of perky. 

Over the first few days, everything is crazy. I have nurses coming and going all the time. They want to know how often he feeds and how long, how many wet and dirty nappies he has had, have I had any bowel motions (they ask this off all new mums, not just the paras). 

Tim has two nights at home. William is very unsettled both nights (also common around the time your milk comes in) and I decide he is staying the next night whether he wants to or not. There is a very noisy baby up the hall that cries a lot. And when it does, it sounds just like a peacock! I go from sympathy for the parents, to sympathy for me very fast!! And I have been lucky enough to score a room for myself, since they decided it would be kind of cramped with a wheelchair if I was sharing.  The other really good thing about this is that Time can sleep in the other bed when he stays. 

At four days, one of the doctors says I can go home. I've never seen her before, so I decide to wait until Dr D has given me her check of approval. This is also only one day after the transfusion disaster. You know, the one where my haemoglobin levers were so low they had to give me a transfusion... It would be day 8 by the time she sent me home.

William lost 188g in his first couple of days, which was about 5% of his body weight. Generally, they lose up to 10%, so they were happy with that. And by a week he was about 100g over his birth weight again. 

One of the things I'd been worried about with a caesarean, was how I would go recovering. As it turned out, I went really well! After a week, my dressing was off and the surface had healed. Within a couple of weeks, I was no longer getting any spasms, indicating internal pain. I was only looking at my scar a few days ago and thinking how well I've healed. Almost 11 months later you can only find it if you're looking for it. 

Home at last!

Alright, I'm going to leave it there for today. I've cut out so much from this post so as not to bore you, but as always, questions are more than welcome! I promise I won't leave it so long for the next one! Until then!